This was sent in as a comment but I think it has so much to tell us about yelling I am making it a guest post.
Dan Conway has commented a good bit on this blog and his messages are always thoughtful and insightful.
He is the father and dad of 5, now young adults. Here is what he had to say about yelling and discipline:
Sister Mary Clare Ann, my 8th grade teacher, never raised her voice or visibly lost her temper. We were a large class and fond of misbehaving, but she was a superb disciplinarian. None of the stereotypes of nuns using rulers or intimidation fit Sister Mary Clare Ann.
She was soft spoken and serious with a small but genuine smile. We never heard her yell. In fact, the more serious the situation, the softer her voice became. But we listened to her. We obeyed her.
Why? Because we respected her. She had earned our respect by showing in a thousand small ways that she respected us and cared about us as individual persons and as a class.
As a Dad, I wish I were more like Sister Mary Clare Ann. I hope my children know how much I love and respect them, but I know I didn’t always show it. I have made lots of mistakes as a parent, but I’m not giving up. I owe that to my children–and to Sister Mary Clare Ann.